QUIZ NOSE

From VeganStreet.com... http://www.veganstreet.com/
So funny and true I have to share with you all!!

Hello, intrepid visitor. Have you ever heard anyone claim that he had a special acumen for detecting others within a certain culture in society just by viewing or briefly interacting with them? For example, many of us have heard of "gaydar", a play on the word radar, which refers to an intuitive ability to know without asking if someone else is a homosexual.

The same applies to vegans. There are visual, behavioral and social cues that, if observed with sensitivity and mindfulness, can be an indication of another's vegan status. Keep in mind that none of these predictors individually means anything, but when added together, they become quite a bit more substantial. Over time, you might refine your detection skills so well, you'll be able to walk into a crowded room, sniff once or twice, narrow your eyes a bit, and eerily pronounce, There's a vegan in my midst. Your friends will be amazed by your party trick!

So whether you're a vegan looking for a sympathetic soul to commiserate with at the office Christmas party or you're just looking for a few dairy-free recipes, print this checklist out and carry it with you. You never know when it might come in handy.


Does the individual in question have a copious amount of cat or dog fur sticking to his or her clothes at all times, even though she may not necessarily appear to be otherwise unkempt?

Yes No

If you are in the grocery store, do you observe this person scrutinizing ingredient lists with the focus of a scholar translating an ancient Babylonian text?

Yes No

At a restaurant, does this individual quiz the waitstaff for 10 minutes before placing an order for the steamed vegetable plate?

Yes No

Does this person look like she'd rather go naked than wear fur?

Yes No

Does this individual have a tendency to wear entirely black ensembles, or, conversely, loose hemp clothing hand-stitched by a feminist anarchist eco-collective out of Portland?

Yes No

If this person drinks coffee, is it an organic, shade-grown variety? If anything is added, is it soy milk and unbleached sugar?

Yes No

Has this person ever been overheard openly dreading and reflexively gagging at the thought of Thanksgiving dinner with the family?

Yes No

If this person is a co-worker, does he take a long lunch out of the office and return grumbling about how 50 people accused him of wearing leather shoes on the day after Thanksgiving, also known as Fur Free Friday?

Yes No

If not already residing there, has this person expressed a desire to move to San Francisco, Seattle, Eugene or Santa Fe? (If already dwelling there, also check Yes.)

Yes No

Does this person consult a small book, likely with a depiction of a rabbit on the cover, whenever purchasing personal hygiene products?

Yes No

If the individual in question is a co-worker, does she often bring a lunch that includes a mysterious springy white substance, often in cube form?

Yes No

Does this person get way too excited to hear that the convenience store nearby is now stocking Tofutti Cuties?

Yes No

If this person is approached by someone asking for sponsorship in the annual March of Dimes fundraiser, does she whip out a pamphlet and launch into a diatribe about the futility and cruelty of vivisection?

Yes No

Has this individual been overheard telling the person behind the counter at the juice bar to hold the yogurt, whey powder and/or bee pollen?

Yes No

Announce that you've discovered a new meltable, delicious cheese substitute without casein and observe the reaction. Does the person in question vacillate between wide-eyed hopefulness and wary skepticism?

Yes No

When shoe shopping, can this individual be observed scrutinizing the shoes for a 100% man-made materials stamp?

Yes No

Has this person ever been overheard in conversation lamenting, "Yeah, she's cute, but she's just a vegetarian."?

Yes No

Does a trail of "Meat is Murder" stickers seem to suddenly appear on the glass of the butcher counter at the grocery store when this individual passes by?

Yes No

Now tally up your Yes checks, and give yourself a point for every one. If you answered in the affirmative to the final question, add five more points.

1 - 7: It's a distinct possibility that this person is a vegan, but not absolutely conclusive. More detective work is needed.

8 - 14: Your vegan radar should be buzzing like mad. I think you're on to something, Sherlock!

15 - 21: Bingo, my friend! Break out the Soy Delicious and tofu whipped creme - you've struck gold